


The Archer

by BLMB



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23171842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BLMB/pseuds/BLMB
Summary: I've been the archerI've been the preyWho could ever leave me, darling?But who could stay?Betrayal. That was what Lena felt, as she stared at the picture frame in her hands. It was a picture of her, Kara, and Alex. They were all so happy, so content. That contentment wasn’t enough. From her closest friends, to the person she cared about – even loved – they had betrayed her.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	The Archer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LexasJawline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexasJawline/gifts).



> Hello, everybody! I have risen from the dead. xD This oneshot was a long time coming -- it was an idea I had prior to the start of Season 5. I was listening to The Archer and realized how much it reminded me of Lena. It was very fitting as well, considering all things that happened at the end of Season 4. So all these events happened right before Season 5, just so there isn't any confusion. 
> 
> I'm also warning all of you now that this is gonna get very -very- angsty. 
> 
> Enjoy? xD

_Combat, I’m ready for combat  
_ _I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?_

Lena Luthor was in her office. To say she was a workaholic was a mild statement. Fresh from the whole _‘killing Lex incident’_ , she felt both emotionally and physically drained. She needed an outlet. She needed to forget. She needed to put her mind to something else instead. Most people would go to their apartment to take a rest. Some would probably even cry themselves to sleep. Hell, you had to kill your brother, for god’s sake, isn’t that something worth crying about? Isn’t that something you can’t get out of your head?

Lena Luthor wasn’t most people, however.

Her brother was a psychotic, egotistical jerk who only cared about himself. A part of her still wanted to please him, and a part of her still wished they could go back to the simpler days when Lex’s ego didn’t get the better of him. Then again, didn’t his ego always get the better of him? Everything they did together, while it did boost Lena’s morale (sometimes), it also still satisfied Lex to a bigger extent. Everything he did for Lena, he only did because it could help him instead. Self-service, really. And while she always had a small belief that her brother thought of her as more than a tool, the entire situation they were in proved otherwise.

Maybe he held some small sense of compassion, who knew, but she highly doubted that. If he had that, it was probably so small that it would hardly be noticed. In the grander scheme of Lex’s plans, the only thing that mattered was how he could help _himself_ and not anybody else. What mattered most to Lex was Lex, and anybody else who would benefit was simply a byproduct of his actions. A means to satisfy an end, and nothing more than that.

So Lena did the only thing she knew how to do to recover from her stress – she worked. She looked at everything she hadn’t been able to accomplish because she kept going in and out of the office the past few days. It looked like a week’s – no, probably a month’s – worth of paperwork, but she was determined to get it all done that evening, if not within the next few days. She refused to let it take her a week. She needed to move on. She needed to keep going.

Moving on was better than remembering. Doing something was better than thinking of the incident. She needed something – anything – to take her mind off things. If that was work, then so be it. If she were being honest to herself, though, it wasn’t even her killing Lex that bothered her. Yes, a part of her conscience hurt at the fact that it had to come down to her killing her _brother_ , just so that he would stop wreaking havoc in the world. He was horrible, yes, but he was still her _brother._ It was upsetting to think that nothing else could have been done, because any open opportunity for Lex was a chance to strike. The only way that she could cut that off was to kill him. There was no other option where Lex would lose. He would always find a way for him to win, while alive, so Lena had to take that from him. It was the only way. Granted, there were so many other possibilities she had run in her head, and it could have ended differently, but while alive, Lex was a threat. While alive, he could harm more people than do good, and she had to put that stop to it. She _needed_ to.

So yes, a part of her was bothered it had to go to that. The feel of the gun in her hands… The sound of the three gunshots that eventually ended Lex’s life… All of that bothered her, truly it did. But all that she felt washed away the moment Lex started speaking, and what stood out to her most was the moment he said, “Kara Danvers is Supergirl.” Her brother’s voice rang in her head like a knife to her throat. Kara Danvers is Supergirl. How could she have been so stupid? Her best friend, the person she had trusted the most and completely when she came to National City, the first person who believed in her. Her best friend whom Lena loved more than just a best friend but was always too scared to say. _She_ was Supergirl?

She remembered shaking. She remembered her whole world crumbling, falling to pieces. Everything – no, _everyone_ – she had brought close to her heart, they had all been _lying_ to her face. Lying straight at her face, as if Lena was stupid. As if Lena wasn’t important enough for her to be let in on a secret that was apparently so glaring, but she failed to acknowledge. If there was one thing Lena _hated_ , it was people getting the better of her. She liked knowing the people she trusted did the same to her. Yes, she kept her secrets, and people certainly did not always reveal everything to her. However, the fact that it seemed like Lena was the only person left in their little friend group that didn’t know made her feel like she wasn’t important enough. Maybe she didn’t deserve that big of a secret. Maybe she wasn’t worthy enough of their trust.

She didn’t know what to do. She so badly wanted to break something, to hurt something, to release her anger on something. All her emotions were getting the better of her, but nothing was helping as a release. She was so ready to do anything to get her mind off the news, but at the same time, it was the only thing she was dwelling on. Her work may have been opened, and a bunch of graphs and charts were illuminating her in the darkness of her office, but nothing was working. She didn’t want to cause any drama, but she couldn’t get her mind off the hurt. She couldn’t get her mind off the pain.

_'Cause cruelty wins in the movies  
I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you_

The following night, J’onn had invited Lena and all her friends to his place for another Game Night. At least, Lena used to consider them friends. At that point, she wasn’t even sure what to call them. Of course, she had chosen to still come over for Game Night. What were _friends_ for, after all? Besides, it wasn’t like any of them _knew_ that Lena was already aware of the truth. The truth that was kept for her for so long. The truth that it took another person to tell her.

As she entered the room with everyone huddled in a circle and smiling at her, she felt her world crumbling once more. How could they do this to her? How could they keep smiling at her, when all of them knew they were hiding something from her? How could they pretend that everything was absolutely 100% okay, when Lena felt every bit of her sanity disintegrating? She couldn’t tell anyone that she knew. No, she wasn’t even privy to that information, in fact. It didn’t change the fact that it hurt. It didn’t change the fact that she wanted to strangle the very person she loved oh so much.

Love. What did Lena even know about love? Everyone she had seemed to love either left her or hurt her. She loved Jack Spheer, but where did that get her? As she moved to National City and started her new life her, she had learned to befriend Kara Danvers. Yes, she had developed feelings for her, but she was always too afraid to tell her – too scared that it would risk their friendship if she did. Did Kara even feel the same way for her? Probably not. The fact that she was never let in on the secret stung even more, because it further proved that Kara wasn’t interested in her the way that Lena was for Kara, and it fucking hurt like crazy.

She wanted to throw the bottle of wine she held right at Kara. She wanted to scream and yell and ask her _why?_ Why was she not let in on the truth? Why was she left in the dark? Why did she make her so weak in the knees? Why did her smile make Lena feel like she was on cloud nine? Why did she just want to go to her and tell her everything was _not_ okay? Why did she want to tell Kara that she was _not_ fine and that the other girl was causing her this much anguish and pain? Why did she want to let Kara know everything? Why did she end up falling for Kara in the first place, when the other girl would probably never love her back? It all hurt. It all fucking hurt. The truth stung, but her love for Kara stung even worse, because now the truth (or lack thereof) was connected to the one person she cared about, almost as if fate was being purposely bitchy to her. Like she deserved all of the hurt she felt.

_Easy they come, easy they go  
I jump from the train, I ride off alone  
_ _I never grew up; it's getting so old  
Help me hold onto you_

Once more, she had to compartmentalize her feelings. She had to set aside everything she had currently felt, so that she could survive the situation at hand. The worst part wasn’t the fact that she had to keep her feelings on hold. No, she was too used to that for it to feel bad. The worst part was that she now had to do it from people she had considered friends. Now, she had to keep what she felt from them too. Now, she had no one to turn to but herself. At the end of the day, it was down to how Lena felt and what she would do, moving forward. She was back to where she began, with nobody to trust but herself. She was alone, and she only had herself to blame for attempting to believe in friendship. She only had herself to blame for her attempts at bringing people into her life once more. She only had herself to blame for putting her trust and her faith in people who didn’t feel the same way about her. She only had herself to blame.

But why did it hurt when she saw all of them so happy in Game Night? Why did it hurt when they were all sharing their stories and updating each other on their lives? If she had kept her feelings in their appropriate boxes, it shouldn’t be hurting like this. She shouldn’t be feeling this way. Why was their happiness causing her so much pain? Why did pretending to be happy with them drain so much of her energy? How could she stay?

They were the reasons she had killed Lex. They were the reasons she even considered pulling the trigger. She wanted to protect them from the criminal that was his brother. She wanted to protect them and the rest of the world from what else he could do. But then they’d been lying to her all long. Lies, nothing but lies. Everything was a fucking lie.

_I've been the archer  
I've been the prey  
Who could ever leave me, darling?  
But who could stay?_

Betrayal. That was what Lena felt, as she stared at the picture frame in her hands. It was a picture of her, Kara, and Alex. They were all so happy, so content. That contentment wasn’t enough. From her closest friends, to the person she cared about – even loved – they had betrayed her. It was already difficult for Lena to make herself vulnerable enough to have friends. She had so many walls within her blocking that, and so many locks to get to her actual core, but they managed to get past that.

No, in particular, Kara Danvers managed to get past that. She had let herself be vulnerable to Kara, thinking Kara was somebody she could trust, thinking Kara would accept her and all of her past. And she believed Kara did. She believed that in spite of everything Lena had done, Kara accepted her for all of it. Yet there she was once more, with betrayal biting at her like an old friend sneering, “Hah, I told you so.” Kara had no reason to have her faith in Lena anyway. She had absolutely no reason to believe in Lena either, so why would she stay? Why would she give Lena something as important as her true identity? Was Lena really a friend? All the memories, all the fun, all the laughter, all the support – everything – was it all a lie? A fluke? Was Lena merely a means to an end? Did Kara Danvers even care about her, to begin with? Supergirl never did, so why would Kara? What gave her a reason to have faith in Lena? What gave her a reason to be friends with Lena? Nothing.

But Lena fell for it. Every last bit of it. All she felt now was the bitter taste of Kara’s betrayal of her trust, and the emptiness that she felt because she was an idiot. An absolute idiot.

_Dark side, I search for your dark side  
But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?  
And I cut off my nose just to spite my face  
Then I hate my reflection for years and years_

Now she was back to the beginning. She had nobody to lean on but herself. She had nothing to accompany her but technology, and the technology that she had yet to create. Had she just focused on that, she wouldn’t even be here in the first place. How could she be so stupid? Why did she have to let her feelings cloud her judgment? Why did she let her emotions get the better of her?

She had a system. Put her feelings in separate boxes. Do not focus on the emotions while performing a task at hand. No matter how stressful or distressing things were, her feelings did not matter. They shouldn’t have mattered. The problem was… she _allowed_ them to matter. She allowed her feelings to cloud her judgment. She allowed her feelings to ruin how she was meant to go about her life. As a result, she was hurt once more. Why did she have to keep getting hurt? Why did people have to keep hurting her? Everything Lena was feeling now… all her emotions… she felt hurt.

And then it hit her. That was it. It wasn’t just her feeling hurt. There were so many other people in the world who were hurting as well. Probably not just hurting, others could also be wounded from the battles they were facing on their own. Maybe it wasn’t emotionally, like what she was going through, but the other weaker people or aliens could be hurt physically. The hurt was not the problem. The emotions were not the problem. The problem was – why did people have to keep hurting each other?

The problem was clear – it was that people could harm one another in any way possible. It was that any action, whatever it was, could have the possibility of wounding someone. What if that capacity was taken away? What if… there was a way for people to stop hurting one another? Hell, if something like that had already existed, maybe she would never have experienced the pain and the anguish that was being ‘raised’ by Lillian Luthor. Maybe her brother never would have tried hurting her in the first place. Maybe Kara would never have lied at her face, because the former knew just how much betrayal Lena had gone through and how much hurt each betrayal had caused.

_I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost  
The room is on fire, invisible smoke  
And all of my heroes die all alone  
Help me hold onto you_

Unfortunately, changing the past was something that she could not do. Even if she _could_ do that, it wasn’t like she could force Kara to reveal her secret – whatever absurd reason that must’ve been. The only thing Lena could change now was what she could do from this point onward. She could not change what she had been through. She could not change the pain that she felt. She could only change what she would feel from now on.

If she could find a way to do that, she would be helping humanity heal. They could all heal together. They could all be in peace. No more hurt. No more betrayal. No more lies. She didn’t need her so-called friends. Why put her faith in them, when they didn’t trust her anyway? She could only rely on herself and the technology she created. She only needed technology, because that was what the world needed right now. To do no harm – _Non Nocere._ The world didn’t need pain, and the technology she would create would eradicate that. She didn’t need anyone but herself.

_I've been the archer,  
I've been the prey  
Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?  
But who could stay?_

Everything she felt at that moment should drive her to move forward. There was no point lingering in the past or what could have been. There was no sense reliving her hurt. She had to put that behind her. She had to put her friends behind her. If they didn’t think Lena was good enough for them, then so be it. She wasn’t about to indulge them in the pleasure that was being their ‘friend’.

_(I see right through me, I see right through me)_

She couldn’t just drop them immediately, though. It had to be gradual. Little by little, let Kara and everybody else have a taste of their own medicine. Maybe then they’d realize how much they had hurt Lena. Maybe then they’d see how much they needed her, when she would be long beyond needing their friendship.

_'Cause they see right through me  
They see right through me  
_ _Can you see right through me?  
They see right through me  
_

Would Kara see through Lena’s pain? A part of Lena wished that the other girl would. A part of her still very much wanted to pick up where they left off and continue with their lives like nothing had happened. If she could only tell Kara what she felt, and if only Kara felt the same way as well. It was such a naïve point of view, however. Things could never be the same, at least not anymore. There were just some things out of Lena’s control.

_I see right through me  
_

She needed to enact her plan. _Project Non Nocere_ would make the world a better place. That way, no one else would be hurt or in pain anymore. Peace was so much better than all this anguish. Destroying the root cause of all pain would solve this. Do no harm… nobody should be allowed to do any harm.

_All the king's horses, all the king's men  
Couldn't put me together again  
'Cause all of my enemies started out friends  
Help me hold onto you_

Broken. Lena felt so broken. She hated to admit it, but she thought Kara was the one. She thought that Kara could pick up her broken pieces and mend her back together. Come to think of it, that was what the blonde had been doing. She had been helping Lena heal. She had been helping Lena feel better. Every time they saw each other, Kara was nothing but a ray of sunshine who made Lena forget that she was still hurting from the past. Every moment they shared, every laughter they felt, all the stories they had… all those moments felt so _real_. Why did everything have to be a fucking lie?

_I've been the archer  
I've been the prey  
Who could ever leave me, darling?  
But who could stay?  
(I see right through me, I see right through me)_

She knew it was too good to be true. Everything about National City was too good to be true. Most of the people in her life had never been honest to her. What made her think the people she met now were any different? She was naïve. She shouldn’t have brought her hopes up to begin with. She never should’ve let her guard down. She never should have brought down her walls.

_Who could stay?  
You could stay_

In the end, she was alone. In the end, she was back to where she started – with no one to turn to but herself. She never should have relied on people. She never should have believed in Kara, despite the many times the reporter believed in her. What was the point in believing, when she was being lied to anyway? What was the point of trust, when secrets were still there? No, Lena was better than that. No longer will she trust in people. No longer will she believe them either. _Combat, I’m ready for combat._


End file.
